You have just completed one of the most grueling journeys of your life
You are exhausted after hours of labor followed by delivery, or you are just waking up from theatre feeling all drowsy as the pain begins to kick in fast and furious
You are tired: mind, body and spirit
What you want right now, what your mind, body and spirit is craving for is a getaway
You want to float to an island far away. A place where you will be pampered back to health and reinvigorated.
You want rest, uninterrupted rest
You want to sleep, to sleep until you do not want to sleep no more.
As you are entertaining thoughts of rest, peace and quiet in enters disruption.
First the nurses who want to inject you with medicine, they also want you to swallow some, they need to check the canula on your arm to administer more medicine
Next the pediatric nurses come in grinning from ear to ear wheeling in your new born baby
You want to say no, to ask them to take the baby back for a while because you are not in a position to handle another life let alone your own . . .
The nurse takes the baby and puts it on your breast, all the time talking to you about the importance of baby being put on breast soon after birth
You are still lying down on your bed, which is now being inclined upwards for a good breastfeeding posture
All the while, you are oscillating between dreamland and reality thanks partly to the pain medication.
The guests start to trickle in and everyone has something to say, advice to give. Your plastic smile is on the verge of cracking
You are discharged and you are excited to go home, to your house but most importantly to your bed.
Then the nightmare begins!
Nobody warned you that unlike hospital where the nurses would come in to assist at home you are on your own.
This baby is now 100% dependent on you and you are expected to be upto the task.
They want to breastfeed all the time (or so it seems to you) . . .
They cry because of colic . . .
They poop every 5 minutes (atleast in your head) . . .
And the worst is the switch between days and nights!!!!!!
You begin to snap at every cry.
Shout at the baby, then begin crying with them . . .
Exhaustion is tearing you down and you do not have any idea what to do
This baby that you waited for, enjoyed babyshowers for, were excited to welcome into your life has now become a source of unimaginable pain.
You are tired! and You do not even know how to express it:
That you feel physically drained
That you feel inadequate in every way
That you feel emotionally unable to handle all that is going on
That you just want a BREAK!
You are not an ingrate
You are not selfish
You are not pretending
You are not being petty
You are not alone
They is nothing wrong with you
You are not the only one going through these emotions, feelings, state – there are other Mums battling the same feelings, other Mums have battled the same and came out strong
There is help available for you
Just ask Mammi, just reach out.
You will be pleasantly surprised.