My name is Wanjiku and I am a Mother of five.
Every time, I introduce myself this way, people gasp. They often repeat, “Five, Five children!”
And I answer, “Yes, five children. Two are with the Ancestors and Three are with me”
Then almost always, immediately their face drop, confusion crops up and an awkward silence follows.
I am very deliberate to talk this way about my children. To name all five and acknowledge their existence. It has been an evolving journey for me. I began with:
“I have five children, two are with Jesus, three are with me”
But the more I said it and sat with it, it felt off.
Did it mean the three with me are not with Jesus?
Is Jesus only with the dead and not the living?
Also that is how Mary’s Son has gotten associated with being the guy who snatches Loved one’s away and leaves us all broken and sad.
Then I began my journey to interact with the Ancestors and found my babies resting safely with them. And since then, I acknowledge where they are as such – with the Ancestors.
Before, y’all Christians come after me, God is the Great Ancestor and His Son did hang out with two of His own Ancestors Moses and Elijah at transfiguration. He is the God of the Living, the Christian Holy Book tells us. So breathe.
Back to my five babies and I.
More often than not, after a person composes themselves they seek to find out more about my two children with the Ancestors. Their journey here. Their path out of here. And that ladies and gentlemen is how I have gotten innumerable opportunities to spread Awareness on Pregnancy and Infant Loss. That is how, I have been priviledged to be welcomed into the sacred space of parents breaking the silence on their loss for the first time. That is how, I have held my breathe as I listened to a parent name their child. That is how I have been welcomed to lead Healing Circles. That is how I have been welcomed to lead Remembrance ceremony.
I walk on sacred land.
I live among sacred spaces and conservations.
I am grateful for where my journey of pain has led me and continues to lead me.
I am grateful for where my path of healing has led me and continues to lead me.
My name is Wanjiku.
I am a Mother of Five.
Two are with the Ancestors, Three are with me.
I am committed to Breaking the Silence on Pregnancy and Infant Loss.
I am committed to Speaking the Unspoken.
I am committed to public and communal grieving.
I am committed to the sacred path of pain, loss and healing.
I am committed to the Ancestral Circle that includes our babies gone too soon.