I am the fulfillment of their wildest dreams
My Grandmother
My Mother
My Aunties
My Godmother
My Sisters
My Daughters
My Son
I love asking questions. I ask a lot of questions. In one of my former work places one of the older employees (who has since died may she rest in peace) got tired of my questions and one day in frustration, raise voice and hands in surrender she told me:
Joyce, you are a walking questionnaire!
As you can imagine, I stopped asking questions unless it was absolutely necessary. Through this experience and many like it, I learnt early on two critical things about my questions:
- There are spaces where you should not ask questions.
- There are people who should not ask questions.
These two realities are a double tragedy because one of those spaces was at home and one of those people was my parents. The second space was school and the people not to be asked questions was teachers. And the third space was work and the people not to be asked questions was virtually everyone from bosses to the gatemen!
When you are so used to keeping quiet
Instead of speaking your thoughts
When you have been dumbed down
When you speak you follow it with an apology
When you are so used to not being seen
Instead of living your fullest
When you have been made into a shadow
When you are seen you follow it with an apology
When you are so used to not think
Instead of processing your thoughts
When your mind has been caged
When you think you follow it with an apology
When you are so used to not feel
Instead of expressing your feelings
When your emotions have been trivialized
When you feel you follow it with an apology
Whatever you do
However much resistance
Keep speaking
Keep thinking
Keep feeling
The freedom and life that flows from it
Will slowly but surely wipe out the apology
The energy and boldness that flows from it
Will set you free
To Speak
To Think
To Feel
Without Apology!
#ToLiveAndLetLive
A couple of weeks ago, in my capacity as a blogger, I received an invitation from Oxfam Kenya to attend a breakfast media briefing they would hold on 13th February 2020 to enlighten media professionals on ‘Gendered patterns of unpaid care and domestic work ‘ At first glance, the question that came to mind was “What is care work?” I went to the Oxfam website to try and familiarize myself with the term. There were some articles on the site that descried care work and thus convinced me on the need to attend the briefing.
Breakfast was sumptuous. The spread was loooong and rich. Better yet the event was well organized and the engagement through and from the report presented was very enlightening. The guest speaker for the day Prof. Tabitha Kiriti was such an appropriate choice for the day. Not only from her presentation but her continuous interaction with those present that morning.
He chose me.
He loved me.
He chose me before the foundation of the earth
He loved me before time began
He chose me as His Beloved
He loved me as His Own
It feels good to be chosen
It feels good to be loved
To be chosen by God
To be loved by God
I have not always been chosen by humans
I have not always been loved by humans
His choosing was by Word and Action
He said it and He action it
His love was by Word and Deed
He said it and He showed it
Rarely will a good man die for a sinner
Rarely will a good man taker over the debt of another
But God did
He who chose me, died for me
He who loved me, took over my debt
He who chose me, gave me His life
He who loved me, secured my freedom
I am chosen
I am loved
And oooohhhh
What a wonderful feeling it is to be chosen
Every single time
What a freeing thing it is to be loved
Every single day
My Prayer
To accept to be chosen
To receive His love
To choose Him
To love Him
#Lent2020
#ToLoveAndBeLoved
Life is tough. It takes up much of your time, all your weekends, and what do you get in the end of it? I think that the life cycle is backward. You should die first, get that out of the way. Then you live twenty years in an old-age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young. You get a gold watch, you to work. You work forty years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement. You go to college; you party until you’re ready for high school; you go to grade school; yo become a little kid; you play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby; you go back into the womb; you spend your last nine months floating; and you finish up as a gleam in somebody’s eye.
(Anonymous author)
Michael Yaconelli, Dangerous Wonder, Pg 63
Violence in the Family
MENTAL and EMOTIONAL gender based VIOLENCE is one of the most normalized forms of violence within the family unit. It manifests in many ways:
*Parent against Parent
*Parent against Children
*Children against Parent
*Children against Children
16 Thus says the Lord,
who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
17 who brings out chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
18 Do not remember the former things,
or consider the things of old.
19 I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:16-19)
2017 didn’t begin so bright for me but it did get brighter and brighter as the year progressed. And the promise of God doing a new thing was one that I saw fulfilled over and over throughout the year.
I started blogging. Wrote my first series on the blog. The series turned into a book. First launched on Amazon Kindle then as a hardcopy. Met some wonderful people in the process of my writing and publishing. Did a couple of TV and Radio Interviews, got my story published in a newspaper and a leading magazine. A year of very many, many firsts for me – “I am doing a new thing . . .”
During the year 2017, I also learnt alot. Learnt on the job quite literally and made my share of mistakes as well. One of the mistakes I made is aptly summarized by the image below:
Google I spent a lot of time running around like a headless chicken, trying to take all the new things in. Trying to fit in and follow what everyone who I though was successful in blogging and publishing was doing. Lot of time and energy was wasted. Lots of lessons as well learned along the way. All leading back to the path the Lord would desire that I walk in.
So at the end of the year, I took stock and prayerfully made a few decisions that I am excited about for the new year 2018.
In June this year (2017) I had the privilege to meet Uncle Moody Awori the 9th Vice President of the Republic of Kenya. I was so excited for the meeting, I was literally falling all over myself.
I had written my first book (Kenya National Anthem Devotional) and was now in the stage of seeking endorsement from various persons. So, this one day I am in an office just outside town; I had gone to meet a certain person to seek their endorsement for my book. It was not to be, they politely declined. While there, my friend Stanley, I have known him for 20 years and counting, called me. It was a bit strange because we don’t talk on phone as often; but it was all providence. I asked to call him later because I was in a meeting. After the meeting I called him back and said I would pass by his office in town. When we met, I told him what I was upto and why I was in that office earlier. He looked through the Kenya National Anthem series on my blog and immediately said, I know the man to endorse you: Uncle Moody Awori.
THE PARENT:
In your circle of friends, circle of influence and society at large you are the ‘It’ parent. People admire the relationship you have with your children. You proudly talk about your children everywhere you go and the relationship you have with them. As far as you are concerned, you are the SI Unit of parenthood. You silently wonder why the parenthood awards are taking so long to fall into your lap, after all you are the greatest parent that ever lived. And the relationship you have build with your children is rock solid, to be emulated by all.
THE CHILD:
You look at your parents and wonder what world they live in. You wonder if they have a sight problem. As far as you are concerned anytime the charade relationship they claim to have with you will crumble, scratch that, you actively pray that the charade be exposed. You live a double life. The smiley you with your parents. Talking only what they want to hear. Then the real you with people who accept you for you. Anytime you are with your parents requires an extra ounce of strength and patience, to maintain the ‘look’.
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