Last week I was at a GLOW girls camp in Mai Mahiu. To say that I had a wonderful time is an understatement. I had the time of my life! You should have heard me screaming and dancing when I entered the dorm where the facilitators were sleeping. I was running from one end to another, nostalgia. The memories of being in Boarding High School came flowing back. It did not help that the dormitory was almost build like the one I lived in for 4 years back in High School. But there was definitely some differences. Like the tiled floors, fancy bathrooms with beautiful multicolored curtains and the lack of a ceiling on the roof. I chose to sleep on the top bunk and could not stop grinning and chatting my friend as we made our beds. Looking up and seeing the efflorescent long light bulb, the one where we would wind around our socks to dry overnight, I burst out laughing. My friend also shared that they did the same socks drying trick.
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
When a child arrives to a home, be it a father mother home or a single parent home, their very presence and unending demands do tend to overwhelm the adults. Child is 100% dependent for them to live and grow. Child needs to be fed. To be changed. To be bathed. To be clothed. To be put to bed. To be turned while asleep. Then they ‘grow legs’ and parents become literal gate keepers. Putting hurdles, locks and obstacles everywhere to keep the child safe.
While all these physical nurturing is happening it is very easy to get overwhelmed and not nurture their mental, spiritual, emotional and social well being. Because if we are to be honest, taking care of the physical needs of a child is full time job. Sometimes we even hire extra hands to help us do it right. Ensure the child eats and drinks right, is changed at the right time, sleeps at the right time, is clean and safe.
Unfortunately while we as parents are swamped in ensuring the child/ren under our care grow and live, blinded mostly by the screaming physical needs, the spiritual, emotional, mental and social needs of the child/ren can and do fall through the cracks. Sadly, the consequences of this slip is not noticed until it is too late or when we are now correcting unwanted behaviours and tendencies.
Today is Tuesday, 15th October 2019
To many people it is just a day.
But to me and many other parents around the world, today is not just any other day.
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
a bruised reed he will not break,
and a faintly burning wick he will not quench (Isaiah 42:3)
A couple days ago I came home from a meeting and was met by an entourage of ‘reporters’
All telling me in unison: “Thayu alivunja TV. Aliigonga na lemon chwa, then pa ikavunjika” (Thayu broke the TV. He hit it with a lemon)
I was into sure how to react so I went into calm mode and got into the house.
Not to be easily deterred the crew of ‘reporters’ followed me and switched on the TV set to show me how much damage had been done and if possible to persuade me to ‘deal’ with Thayu.
I was still not moved.
They went away dejected.
Mission not accomplished.
10 Weeks – All is going well
20 Weeks – Green light (it was around this time that I lost my second child Thayu, so I was holding my breath)
From there I relax and take it easy. I even continue with short walks and stretches afterwards; to the great displeasure of my friend Nana who could watch me stretch outside our fourplex from her kitchen window.
28 Weeks – ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE
Violence in the Family
MENTAL and EMOTIONAL gender based VIOLENCE is one of the most normalized forms of violence within the family unit. It manifests in many ways:
*Parent against Parent
*Parent against Children
*Children against Parent
*Children against Children
Last year (2017) my son had his third ear infection in a span of months. I took him to a nearby hospital and got, you guessed right, antibiotics.
This time I insisted on a specific brand because another brand he had been given the second time had not worked which had led us to have him moved to a different hospital and onto injections.
Well, before we left the doctors office, he suggested we see an ENT doctor in their doctors plaza a stone throw away. He even went further to suggest that what my son needed was to get his adenoids removed.Big words. Surgery was thrown into the mix and I was left confused yet wanting the best for my son.
Today the 15th of October is PAILRD2018 -Pregnancy And Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
I have been writing this post in my head every weekend for the last couple of weeks. Because this is the time I am reminded of this continuing battle in the heart and mind of every parent and child caregiver – Do I prioritise My Child or The Public?
You have just completed one of the most grueling journeys of your life
You are exhausted after hours of labor followed by delivery, or you are just waking up from theatre feeling all drowsy as the pain begins to kick in fast and furious
You are tired: mind, body and spirit
What you want right now, what your mind, body and spirit is craving for is a getaway
You want to float to an island far away. A place where you will be pampered back to health and reinvigorated.
You want rest, uninterrupted rest
You want to sleep, to sleep until you do not want to sleep no more.