I am a

In God’s Name, standing on God’s Word

What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done;
and there is nothing new under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 1:9

Church history really intrigues me and leaves me with loads of mixed emotions. By church history I mean the timeframe since Jesus ascended into heaven until yesterday. Having been born and raised Pentecostal until I got drawn to the Anglican liturgy and found solace and hope there, I have had a somewhat front row seat into the ‘veiled’ evil and wickedness of man that church leaders have and continue to perpetuate in God’s Name, standing on God’s Word.

I neve cease to be amazed and aghast at how throughout history, church leaders prostituting with the political and wealthy class have colluded to defraud, merchandise and mete violence against their followers and followers of Jesus Christ. Two main reasons for this unholy alliances seem to be the recurring motivation: Money (is it a wonder that the Bible explicitly tells us that the love of money is the root cause of all evil) and Social acceptance (closely intertwined with a desire to maintain the status quo). On this duo alter, throughout church history, church leaders (mostly men) have figuratively and literally set ablaze anyone within the church who dared question them or go against them and their selfish corrupted interests.

October 21, 2020 0 comment

Friend

Mary Magdalene – She knew

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

To know is to bear a burden
A burden of responsibility
A responsibility to act or not to act
To action the knowledge
To walk away from the knowledge

Mary Magdalene knew who the Lord was

So she anointed Him with precious oil
So she never fled
So she was there at the tomb
So she met with Him
So He entrusted her with a message

October 3, 2020 0 comment

I am a

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month – October 2020

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

October is a special month for me, for the reason that it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I have suffered the loss of two babies through miscarriages. What is unfortunate and what keeps me spreading awareness about pregnancy and infant loss is that to date I still suffer from shaming, silencing and all types of remarks mostly which revolve around ‘attention seeking. It is quite sad to see and hear debilitating stories of women who have gone through pregnancy and infant loss and the kind of treatment, especially in words (both written and spoken) that is levelled against their legitimate loss and pain.

Pregnancy is a hard journey. Science is still discovering all the effects pregnancy has on a woman’s overall health (mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, spiritually) both short and long term. Now compound those effects with a miscarriage or an infant loss. It really spirals to catastrophic lengths for me.

One of the reasons I actively participate in spreading awareness on pregnancy and infant loss awareness during the month of October as well as consciously talk about my experiences of child loss through miscarriages is that knowledge is power.

Knowledge is power

When I had my first miscarriage in March of 2010, I was lost. I felt alone. I was confused. I was overwhelmed. I really longed for answers, for conversations with kindred spirit but most were silent. Then I read a blog post by Becky Thompson and for the first time I had someone who had vocalised my worst pain. When Wanjiru Kihusa went ahead to share her story and begin Still A Mum, I felt so validated in all the emotions I had been going through. To hear stories of other women and be in a safe space where I did not feel ‘crazy’ or ‘weird’ or ‘something is wrong with me’. Meeting and getting to know Vivian Gaiko and the work she does with Empower Mama was so refreshing. It was such a healing moment to meet women like me, black women, Kenyan women, who shared my pain and my story; who understood my journey.

I realized then and even now that for many women going through pregnancy and infant loss, seclusion is the worst thing that can happen to you. Being along in your pain, unable to process it, put it into words, being misunderstood and sidelined, being hushed only adds salt to an open wound. That is why I write about my pain, my story and speak about it as well.

This morning I woke up to a retweet by Njoki Ngumi which had a trigger warning of a thread by Prof. Kate Antonova on miscarriage and all the complexity that is that word. I was not able to read past the first few tweets mostly because it was a description to the T of both my miscarriage experiences. It is a great awareness description of what really happens before, during and after a miscarriage, I encourage you to read it if you can.

I am convinced that if more women knew about pregnancy and infant loss, it would really ease all the pain that comes with this horrible experience. When I look back on both my miscarriage losses, knowing what I know now, I feel that things would definitely have been different. To know is to possess the power to make informed decisions and to grieve with awareness.

. . .

Shout out to my gynae of the last decade and counting. A woman who has cared and continues to care for my reproductive wellbeing. Me and mine are forever indebted to you Dr. Angela Chekoko Muliro. God eternally bless you for us.

October 2, 2020 0 comment

Preacher Gal

God who searches for us and brings us back home – Luke 15:1-32

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

Note:

This paper was first written for and presented as a class assignment for my graduate degree on an exegesis course on the Gospel according to St. Luke.

Introduction

The passage under exegesis Luke 15:1-32 is what I would call a ‘classical’ parable. It is memorable and has been repeatedly visualised in drawing and drama throughout the ages. In Sunday School it was one of my favourite dramas and I am not sure why, but I always ended up getting the character of the prodigal son. Introducing Luke, Achtemeir et al. agree with me by noting that the Gospel of Luke “. . .contains some of the most influential and best remembered of all the parables, including the prodigal son and the Good Samaritan.” (Achtemeier 2001, 149) Looking at the bigger picture, how this passage fits into Luke’s narrative, I feel that it is of great significance. This passage details an exchange between Jesus and the Pharisees and their company regarding ‘who is welcome into the Kingdom of God?’ Jesus has gone all inclusive, dining, and welcoming ‘sinners and tax collectors’ (15:1) and the Pharisees and their company are not amused. This passage is right in the heart of ch.5-19 where Luke details the growing conflict that has Jesus on one side and the whole company of the religious elite on the other and yes it is about, ‘who is welcome into the Kingdom of God?’. Jesus is of the inclusive idea, while the religious elite and company feel the Kingdom of God is a very exclusive affair; they do not take well Jesus’ divergent views and practices and the climax of this conflict is ultimately Jesus’ death and crucifixion. The passage in question plays well to enhance Luke’s narrative, build up the controversy and the ultimate climax.

Luke presents 15:1-32 as a build up to the growing opposition of Jesus inclusivity trends as pertains to the Kingdom of God that the Pharisees and their company differ with. Once again Luke paints Jesus as one not to be pushed into a corner when required to defend or explain ‘his way of doing things’. In this passage, once again Jesus associates with ‘sinners and tax collector’ (15:1), the Pharisees and the teachers of the law are not amused and they voice their discontent (15:2), Jesus answers right back at them in three successive parable that are a build up to convict the Pharisees (15:3-32).

September 23, 2020 0 comment

Friend

World Suicide Prevention Day 2020: The Enabler Culture

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

On 3rd September 2020, news broke of a woman who had killed herself and her two children (7 and 1 year old) by jumping into Tigoni Dam. The image of this woman’s body floating on the water and the bodies of her two dead children floating beside her broke me. The backstory is that her husband kicked her out of their matrimonial home and when she went to her mother’s house, her mother gave her transport money to go back to her husbands house and talk things over. Instead she went straight to the dam and ended three lives.

I have really been thinking about this woman and what thoughts must have gone through her mind, on the way to her mothers house and from it. My hear breaks for her pain; her mental pain, physical pain, emotional pain, social pain, spiritual pain. I can only imagine what it took for her to end the lives of her children and herself.

As is expected, there was short lived outrage when the story broke out which quickly fizzled out as soon as it had risen and we moved on to the next breaking news. Today, 10th September, is World suicide prevention day. My reflection on female suicide, specifically driven by abuse (mental, physical, social, emotional, spiritual) perpetrated mainly by men.

The enabler culture in my opinion is one that continues to sustain, fuel and grow abuse of women. Think with me for a moment:

What would happen if men called each other out on abuses and attitudes towards women, their wives and children?
What if men held each other accountable on how they treat (words and actions) women, their wives and children?
What if men made a decision to spur each other to doing right by women, their wives and children?

Instead men, continue to gather together and celebrate each others abuses (mental, emotional, social, physical, spiritual) of women, their wives and children. Men would rather:

Lie/Make excuses for each other
Pretend they do not know the extent of abuses their so called friends are meting out on women, their wives and children
Encourage each other in self destruction, after all misery does love company

What irks me most about this enabler culture is that they know. Men know when they are abusing women. They do it consciously. They know the effects their abuse (mental, emotional, social, physical, spiritual) has on women and on children. But they still go ahead and do it. Why speak and upset the status quo? Why be different and suffer falling out from the majority way of life? Self-preservation is the bedrock of the enabler culture among men that fuels female suicide.

Women in our homes, women at work, women in the streets & women on social media, tell us every day the violence they endure in our hands as men. They advise what we can do to change. But we opt to stick to our hardened identity to enjoy the delusional promises of patriarchy.

Onyango Otieno (@rixpoet)

As men continue to enable each other in abusing women and children, some unable to bear the burden, the shame, the weight of it all chose the suicide path. Suicide is preventable. The question is, are the enablers willing to take a bow off that stage, dim those lights and chose to hold each to a life valuing standard?

I can only hope . . .

In the meantime, please remember that:

WHO

September 10, 2020 0 comment

Friend

Jesus and the Woman from Samaria

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

Jesus and the conversation with the Woman from Samaria at the well really captures me. It is recorded in John 4:1-45. I have pictured this scene so many times in my head . . . So I put it down as the convo I picture it as . . .

Prologue

Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee.

And he had to pass through Samaria.

So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.

A woman from Samaria came to draw water.

August 16, 2020 0 comment

Friend

El-Roi – The God who sees

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

El-Roi is one of my favourite names of God, if not my favourite.

It is a name given to God by Hagar, the mother of Ishmael. The account is recorded in Genesis 16. Sarah and Abraham and growing old and restless. God seems not to be aware that time is running out on His promise to make them father and mother of nations. So Sarah comes up with he idea that maybe God meant to give them children through another, and her another is Hagar who is her handmaid. Abraham, reminds me of Adam in the garden, goes along with Sarah’s suggestion and sleeps with Hagar.

August 1, 2020 1 comment

Christian

He has no advisor

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

I always get amused at my continuous unending tendency to fill in for the unadvertised, unavailable position of Chief Advisor to God. I am sure I am not alone in this.

I have ideas you know.
Ideas on how God should and maybe could answer my prayers
Ideas on the timelines God should work with
Ideas on where God should concentrate His efforts at any given point in time
Ideas on how God should be upholding the very world He created
Ideas on how to deal with calamities, disease and illnesses
Ideas on how to bring about justice swiftly
And the list could go on and on

July 31, 2020 0 comment

Christian Mother

Let the Little Children Come To Me

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. (Matthew 19:13-15)

Jesus loves the little children,
all the children of the world,
red and yellow black and white,
they are precious in His eyes,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

These lyrics of this song Kikuyu, my mother tongue, were taught to me when I was under 5 years. I have a feeling that the disciples of Jesus did not get anyone to teach them this song in Aramaic or Greek, otherwise they would not have so vehemently denied little children to see the Lord Jesus.

In the Gospel according to St. Matthew we are told that some adults (I assume it must have been mothers) brought children to Jesus for two specific reasons:
1. That He (Jesus) might lay hands on the children
2. That He (Jesus) might pray for them

July 31, 2020 0 comment

Christian Friend

Spiritual Formation – Discovery

written by Wanjiku J. Mwangi

What comes to you mind when you hear the term ‘Spiritual Formation’?

What image is formed in your mind?

For many people ‘Spiritual Formation’ is a ‘step program’ that they undertook when they believed in the Lord Jesus and made the same confession with their mouths. It is an event not a continuous process. This is tragic to say the least.

June 26, 2020 0 comment

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