I am a stay at home mum, by choice. That’s what I have always said but the more I think about it maybe the job chose me.
At the beginning of the year I met a friend who I hadn’t seen since I graduated from graduate school. After the usual pleasantries the conversation went something like this:
Friend: So where are you nowadays?
Me: am home
Friend: oooh, you haven’t found a job yet?
Me: I have a job, I am at home with my children (am already grinning at this point because I can see how his face just drops, disappointment written all over it)
Friend: (Not one to give up easily) Not like that, what am asking is where are you using your skills and knowledge from graduate school?
Me: I am using them at home, raising up a godly offspring (my friend is becoming frustrated and soon he’ll be annoyed I can see that)
Friend: So when are you planning on getting a job; when are you getting ordained? (I graduated with a Masters of Divinity in Biblical Studies)
Me: I have a job my dear, I am staying at home and taking care of my children. In regards to ordination, I have made my application and waiting for God to open a door.
Friend: Ok!
Let’s just say, after that conversation I knew our friendship had nosedived for a long time to come.
The conversation above, in its different forms and variations but generally the same questioning, is one I have had with family and friends ever since I completed graduate school one and a half years ago. And the disappointment from most of them (thank God for a few who understand what it is that I am actually doing with my life) is quite obvious. The latest is from an elder lady friend who with concern written all over her face encouraged me to at least get a government job because it is flexible.
I became a stay at home mum maybe a little bit as a result of my previous experience of child loss but mostly because of my desire to be the primary influence in the lives of the my children. I strongly desire to have a godly influence on them and I felt I can effectively do so by being their primary caregiver. God willing, I also hope to home school them, what!, yes I do – but that’s a topic for another day.
So what exactly is my job? To be honest, I have been reflecting on this recently and the more I do the more I realize that when I signed up for this job – stay at home mum – I don’t think I quite understood its width and breadth. What was quite obvious was the mum bit but the rest of the job description that goes along with it was clearly quite oblivious to me. If you know me, then you know that I love being a mum; I thoroughly enjoy the job with all its ups and downs. Flip the coin and you also know that housekeeping (apart from cooking, thank God!) is not among my list of strengths.
However as I continue to learn on the job, I realize that child raising and housekeeping go hand in hand. Moreover it doesn’t matter how good I get at child raising as long as I neglect housekeeping it chips away at the child raising efforts .
To be continued . . .
18 comments
Keren
February 22, 2017 at 6:35 AM
You write well Joyce, I love your blog already. It is a blessing to be the primary caregiver to your children. Your babies are blessed indeed.
Joyce Mwangi
February 22, 2017 at 6:14 PM
Thanks Keren.
I am so excited to be doing this. Feel free to share the link with your friends and family.
Cathy
February 22, 2017 at 7:09 AM
Looking forward to part 2 already! Thank you for being so honest and open about this. In a different space I also find myself answering questions…not exactly how a person expects
Joyce Mwangi
February 22, 2017 at 6:18 PM
Welcome baby gal!
Feel free to share the link with your family and friends.
Nduta
February 22, 2017 at 8:40 AM
Why oh why would you leave me in suspense like this…
Waiting eagerly <3
Joyce Mwangi
February 22, 2017 at 6:19 PM
hahahahaha, because suspense ensures that you keep coming back!
Feel free to share the link with your friends and family.
Pauline
February 22, 2017 at 3:12 PM
Waooo….awesome!! Good job madam Joyce and all the best at the God given job.
Joyce Mwangi
February 22, 2017 at 6:20 PM
Thanks Pauline!
Feel free to share the link with your family and friends.
Imani
February 22, 2017 at 7:18 PM
Very inspiring. I was a stay at home mom for about 3 years of the 5 years I have had my daughter. I share with you the pain of losing a child as it has happened to me too. I work on a very flexible schedule mostly when my child Is at school and I hope to be with her consistently till she is at least 13.
All the best gal
Joyce Mwangi
February 27, 2017 at 10:53 AM
Thanks gal! Let’s keep raising them up, its only for a short time and they’ll be able to stand on their own.
And thank you for sharing the links, I appreciate.
Patricia
February 23, 2017 at 6:18 AM
Very nice and honest read Joyce.
Joyce Mwangi
February 27, 2017 at 10:54 AM
Thanks beautiful!
Lucas
February 24, 2017 at 6:34 PM
Being a stay at home parent; homeschooling etc is a tough job. Walking my kids through their homework for 30 minutes is more tiring than two hours at my work. To be honest with you, I couldn’t manage it. Lakini don’t download the whole MDiv BS on the kids. Have mercy!
Joyce Mwangi
February 25, 2017 at 3:15 AM
Lucas, my dear friend.
Thanks for your comments. I have been working on teaching them Hebrew for starters hahahahahaha!!! Will let you know how that goes.
Kibui
February 25, 2017 at 3:55 AM
You write well!!! Those questions you are asked come in many forms- hah!! I like house keeping part! I shall keep reading, good stuff.
Leah
February 25, 2017 at 4:06 AM
Oh wow! I envy you Joyce. It’s a privilege to spend most of your time with your kids and be the primary caregiver.
I would love to hear how the homeschooling experience would be,honestly I think its tough.
Baraka dadangu.
Joan
March 23, 2017 at 10:25 AM
The article was a great read. You are doing an amazing job with the kids and based on our brief interactions over the last two months I can tell that you walk with God. Never do you seem frazzled or rushed. Being a full time mom is nothing short of a blessing. May you cherish it.
Joyce Mwangi
March 25, 2017 at 5:14 PM
Awwww Joan. Thanks for your kind words