Initially taken aback after telling them that I am a stay at home mum, most ladies then quip:
“You are lucky to have a supportive husband”
To be honest I am not quite sure I understand this statement, maybe I should just ask the next person who tells me this to unpack it slowly for me: wait a minute, am having a conversation with someone who just told me that. Let me follow up on it.
But I digress. . .
Motherhood is not an easy job. All things held constant – ceteris paribas (I hope my economics teacher is reading this, he’d be so proud of me ) – motherhood is still a hard job. What are all these things we are holding constant:
- That you as a mother have the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual capacity to do the job
- That you have a husband and he is supportive
- That you have a father for your children and he is supportive
- That you have a ‘village’ of family and friends who are supportive
NB: I am using capacity/supportive very liberally to mean all your dreams, desires and expectations from the holder of such a title are being met – ok at least the realistic ones!
All the above and many others including a government that has laws and policies favorable for mothers – hoping of course those laws and policies are not gathering dust at the government printing press but have been implemented – held constant, motherhood is still not a walk in the park.
Now let’s start dropping the balls one by one, two by two or any combination of the above and we complicate an already uphill task.
My being a stay at home mother has not been fuelled by all factors being held constant; if anything it has been despite all factors not being constant. In all honesty I can say that my ONLY constant factor is God; Him I depend on 100%. I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have fallen apart leave alone the other factors.
So, in my humble view, staying at home to take care of your children should be a very conscious and prayerful decision. I thought I had made a was conscious until i read Luke 14:28-30.
28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’
Jesus was talking about counting the cost of discipleship and i hope am not stretching the principle when i apply it to every other aspect of life; its good to count the cost before delving into any matter. In light of the above, I am not quite sure I counted the cost. And maybe am glad I didn’t otherwise I might have never dared to venture into this path. Turning to prayer: honesty beckons me to say that, it might not have been a very prayerful decision in the beginning but as days have passed prayer has proved to be a lifeline I cannot do without.
We were to talk about child raising and housekeeping. And by the way housekeeping includes the money factor. So shall we?
To be Continued. . .